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Gay Virgo Astrology Profile
Click on Pen above to listen to this months Virgo horoscope. |
The Gay Virgo: A man-goddess of course.
Virgo, virginal? Hardly, sister. Don't sweat it... If anybody calls you a prude, they're just jealous because your sweet, svelte, impeccably groomed self is the kind of perfection generally limited to the covers of Men's Fitness. Though that said, you do have the special claim of being the one and only female sign of the zodiac (that's right, even the goats are men), so you radiate a special kind of energy that has been worshipped since the beginning of human civilization. What does that make you? Why, a man-goddess of course. Try not to blush, modest Virgo. Everybody knows it's the girls who get things done in this world.
At home or in the office, you get the important jobs because you have a proven ability to carry the day on a timetable and a budget. It's about detail orientation. You understand the the importance of the small things, be they typos or a questionable shoe-belt combination. This can get you into trouble if you go to a friend's house for dinner and end up giving his apartment the white glove treatment. It's not that you judge the slobs that surround you-- well, you do, a little. You can't help it! Tell your friends to blame it on the stars and be grateful that they have somebody around who cares enough to wipe the snot off their noses and make sure their ear hair doesn't get too unsightly.
When it comes to voyeurism, you reject the flashier elements of gaydom. You won't be the queen leading the parade in a pink feather head dress and sequined thong, but maybe you're the thoughtful character who ran around with a clipboard putting the whole outfit together. Where would the family be without you? Some would call you reserved because you don't participate in the more demeaning rituals of human bonding, but you're hardly aloof.
Ruled by Mercury, Virgos understand the importance of communication. It's not the gift of gab we're talking about. It's the transmission of information that concerns you most. You're one of the smarter signs on the zodiac and luckily you have the verbal skills to let everybody know what you're thinker's been thunking up. You're sharp and witty and usually you use these powers for good, to help out those you care for and make sure they understand the importance of having their feet planted firmly on the ground. When it comes to doling out advice, you are the change you wish to see in the world.
As for health, you understand the body-as-temple thing better than any other sign. That perfect complexion and god-like physique won't take care of themselves-- gotta protect the goods! This serves you well in our all too superficial world. But you like to keep things running smoothly on the inside and out. You know that looking good is about having that inner-sexy that comes from being healthy and centered. You might spend a lot of recreation time on the field, playing some team sport (mandatory boys-in-jersey joke here), but if nothing else you do justice to the money you plunked down for that lifetime gym membership. Virgos also understand that performance is based on how the machine is fueled. You take your vitamins, just like mom told you to, and splurge for organic whenever it's available.
Gosh you're handy! Even if teaching isn't your profession, people are as naturally inclined to learn from your healthy, efficient ways as you are to listen to their problems. That, and you have a great sense of humor. But be careful-- Virgo's downfall is helping others so much that he wears himself down. Remember that service to others starts with a strong sense of self.
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I want to yell at them, GET A F**KING LIFE! But I know these perfectionist Mistresses will easily get hurt and/or angered when I yell that, so I simply leave them alone and let them dwell in their petty trvial obsession over things that shouldn't really matter in the broader scheme of things.
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