Gay Taurus Astrology Profile

The Gay Taurus: For a raging bull, you're kind of a princess.

They say the Taurus acts a little like a bull sometimes.  Looks a little like a bull to, come to think of it.  Is that you?  In the corner, pawing at the ground and flaring your nostrils?  You might get hot and bothered, but usually you're going to stay right where you are until you have some clear reason to make your move.  You keep your manly physique and smoldering eyes out of play, waiting for the kill to come to you... and that's incredibly sexy.  Who isn't attracted to the strong, silent type?  But that's just outwardly.  You're the goods through and through, from your ability to accumulate wealth to your legendary... shall we say, personal skills.

You don't let the little stuff grab you by the horns and yank you around, but you're also not charging at every red scarf waved in your general direction.  It's a common misconception about the bull that he has a nasty temper.  Actually, it's something more akin to righteous anger.  With you, there's no such thing as merely airing a grievance.  You'll keep quiet and build a federal case.  It might take days, weeks or months, but when you've compiled the evidence, out comes the S.W.A.T. team.  Outbursts like these will be not be remembered merely as disputes.  They will be compared to acts of god.  That very nasty, very public breakup that got going because your ex was flirting/nagging/doing that annoying thing with his lip?  It may have been the last straw.  That thing that he does with his lip might be very, very annoying, the kind of thing that wears on one's soul after repeated exposure.  I understand.  But was the California Pizza Kitchen in the mall really the appropriate place to end it?  Yeah, they'll be commemorating that one with a candlelit vigil.  If you happen to be passing through that day on your way to the Smoothie Hut, you'd do best to keep your mouth shut and leave a generous donation for the victim.  It's good karma.

Not that you really need any.  You seem to have an uncanny ability to accumulate the fun stuff: money and power.  You might take it for granted, but trust me, this doesn't come easy to any old sign.  Just ask your local starving Pisces.  Different signs like money for different reasons.  Your reason happens to be that you like money.  It's that simple really.  It's the Millionaire Mindset.  Money just wants to be loved.  Treat it right, and it will love you back.  You know that the relationship between a man and his well-diversified stock portfolio can go deeper than... well, you know.  Don't get me wrong.  You're definitely not going to gamble everything on a stock tip you heard from a guy who was trying to chat you up at a cocktail party, who heard it from his ex-boyfriend's bosses roommate, who swore that Exubera was going to take the world by storm.   No, that's not your bag at all.  You're a blue chip mutual fund man, and proud of it. 

Here's how I think of it: with a dieting metaphor.  Bear with me.  If you crash diet, do the Beyonce Master Cleanse thing, or the cabbage soup thing... heck, even Atkins, you're guaranteed to loose at least eighty-three pounds in less than seventy-two hours, right?  But what's the good if you can't keep it off?  They say that weight loss works best when you lose one to two pounds a week.  That might be a time investment, but you'll make it if it means that the payoff is being svelte for life.  It's the same for everything you value in life.  If it's worth getting, it's worth getting right.  I've read that Taurans are traditionally farmers, salt of the earth and all that, but I don't buy it for a second.  In this modern world of ours, you're comfortable playing power games in the board room, or building your reputation as a freelance graphic artist... the career world is your oyster.  Just stay away from sales.  The slick talk isn't what you're known for and the insecurity of the job will make you nuts.  And we all know where that leads. 

So yeah, what I'm trying to say is that you're kind of a stick-in-the-mud sometimes, at your worst even a kurmudgen, cantankerous, obstinate, pig-headed... and my thesaurus is just getting warmed up!  Please don't remind me that slow and steady wins the race, buddy.  I've heard it all before.  But you're not fooling anybody.  You like to unwind with the best of them.  In fact, be careful.  All that dieting you've been doing?  It's important to eat, drink and be merry occasionally, but unless you want to be known for your soft underbelly, I'd watch it if I were you.  That said, if you know how to make it, you also know how to spend it: on pretty faces and expensive booze.  Oh, and things that smell good.  Preferably a bedroom buddy who wears expensive cologne (a drug-store knock-off is reason enough to send him packing), but baring that you'll settle for some nice aromatherapy candles.  Five hundred thread count sheets, Italian leather couches, and we won't even get into how picky you are about what you wear.  Hey, you know what?  For being a raging bull, you're kind of a princess.

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