Gay Gemini Astrology Profile
The Gay Gemini: Best friend, Adderall.
Make up your mind Gemini! Who's team are you on, anyway? Duality is an important part of nature, but they say people ruled by the twins like to double their pleasure and their fun. Kinky? You bet. Mercury, ruler of Gemini, was the pretty calling card of the gods, the messenger who moved like lightening and dripped honey when he spoke. He also had a physique as chiseled as the statues they made in his image-- all that running up and down Mt. Olympus is good for the thighs. What more could you want, Gemini? You have it all: brains, bod and the busiest tongue on the zodiac. Sometimes you even get around to talking. I jest. Verbal skills happen to be your particular strength. You're the best dinner conversation of the zodiac. Ideally, you could spend a lifetime dining with friends on the terrace of a Rive Gauche cafe, exchanging bon mots and watching the boys strut by. You thrive on conversation as witty and intelligent as you are, especially when they are paired with tapas and crisp rose. Why get stuck with an entree if you could sample an entire menu?
This simple polemic could be applied to just about every area of your existence. As an undergraduate, I'd be willing to bet you triple majored in Japanese culture, physics and botany. Typical. Worst case scenario is that you didn't make up your mind at all, you naughty little Gemini. It's great that you have so many interests, but a series of passing interests does not a career man make. At least if you have to go back to college at age thirty-five, you'll look great. Your sharp mind somehow keeps you looking fresh and agile; even if you've chased the party like it was your job, you can expect to look a lot more like Kate Moss that Kieth Richards after you've left rehab. It's hardly even fair. Find a job where you can use your excellent interpersonal skills, and you'll be communicating all the way to the bank. The possibilities are endless, as long as you choose a line of work that rewards you for hopping around all day like a five year old waiting for the potty. It's not that you can't concentrate. It's just there are so many pressing thing in life that require your attention, and you hate to let any one thing slip. Did you leave the iron on? Choose the right tie? Paper or plastic? Ma'am or Sir? Lifestyles or Trojans? Luckily, you have a uncanny knack for balancing all pressing issues somewhere in the slippery realm of your immediate attention. Why have just one big problem when you could solve twenty little problems in under twenty minutes, and still have time to file your nails?
At your best, you master your massive attention deficit and use your curiosity to find unique solutions to just about any problem. At your worst, you're full of hot air. Take relationships, for instance. You are so notoriously fickle when it comes to love that I bet you don't even mind that gays can't marry. In fact, I would be saddened but not shocked to find that you were giving money to the Family Values Council under an assumed name. Well, it looks like you'll be able to avoid that awkwardness for a little while longer; just stay out of Massachusetts. There's nothing you dread more than the prospect of waking up next to your lover of the week for the rest of your life. It's not that you are incapable of love, far from it. But you have a crush to match each of your split personalities. How to choose just one? Walking down the street, it's impossible not to notice a stunning pair of eyes over here and a sensual mouth over there. You put them together like some men put together fantasy football teams. As for landing the catch to end all catches, good luck with all that. Even if you did, you'd probably just change your mind the next day. Maybe his look isn't right for the season. If people were clothes, you'd be getting all of yours at H&M, knowing full well they'll be passe by the time the next fashion week rolls around.
Besides, if you settled down, you might not have a reason to flirt anymore; and flirting is what you do best. To trot out a tired cliche: Variety is the spice of life. To quote a Joni Mitchell lyric: Everything comes and goes, marked by lovers and styles of clothes. Not that you spend too much time reminiscing. If you're moping around your apartment thinking of the snows of yesteryear, it's because the invitation you were hoping for didn't arrive and you're in the mood for self-pity. Knock it off, Gemini. Maybe if you tried thinking with your heart every once in a while, instead of that logical head of yours, you wouldn't be prone to these fits of melancholy. If you keep blowing people off when they're done being useful, you might just find yourself in-between friends when you need them most. I hate to tell you this, but where you might admire your own quick mind and insatiable curiosity, some people would say that your inability to make a commitment makes you an empty, superficial person. I guess it's all in how you choose to see it. So maybe you should choose to show some appreciation for the people who mean the most.
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