When Virgo came out of the closet, it was most likely to fetch a broom and dustpan. Don’t bother pursuing the immaculate Virgin unless your tone is tight, hair in place, and clothes freshly laundered. If you are frequently stopped by the fashion police on the way to the bar, don’t expect to get very far with picky, pristine Virgo.
Impossible to please, compulsively critical, and constantly vexed by minor irritants, Virgos will get on best with cat lovers, an animal sharing many of the same traits. Awkward and shy need not apply; but if you’ve got a mind like a file cabinet and have a career in design, you just might be able to get inside those carefully ironed and starched boxers.
You’ll do better with Virgo if you’re an eager slave seeking a controlling master, than a boy-toy hunting a sugar-daddy; Virgo is as frugal as he is meticulous. Expect vacations together to include a lot of coupon-clipping, off-beach resorts, and organized tour groups.
Sex with Virgo can be a sterile affair, though not necessarily passionless; the Virgin wants to be entertained more than anything in bed, so theatrical romps which include a rich fantasy factor are in order. Leave the messy stuff like food fetishes at home; the average Virgo won’t have anything to do with untidy foreplay.
Bring some creativity to the game, make him feel like Madonna, and Virgo will be eating out of your hand-or any other freshly scrubbed part of your body. Looking good in latex will be a plus, and don’t be afraid to suggest that he tie you up.
Virgos, like elephants, never forget, and you’ll want to brush up your on your Harry Lorayne Memory Power courses, if you expect to keep track of the exhaustive list of your lover’s preferences. He’ll be very likely to entertain a zen for a particular brand of gourmet macadamia nut, or some exotic unknown drink; memorizing these for gift purposes will put you on his “A-list”
The best way to attract Virgo is to be perfect. Failing that, however, be able to absorb “constructive” criticism and be attentive to his whims. Let his harsher needling roll off your back, or you’ll be in for a rough ride.
The center of Virgo’s energetic life is the navel Chakra, and most Virgins will go absolutely nuts with your tongue in his belly button. Linger in the region for several tantalizing laps, before moving on to more serious things. Expect to make the first move with Virgo, but take things slow and give him a chance to play coy with you.
Despite an unapproachable exterior, once won over Virgo is a zesty and athletic lover, more likely to prefer the bottom position than top. Once you’ve deflowered him, he’s likely to stay loyal-until you disappoint him. A betrayed Virgo can be somewhat vicious, so take care with his heart if he’s generous enough to give it to you
What to expect on a Virgo date
A trip to the gym for a workout session is a good way to warm up with health-nut Virgo. Although he is known for showing a little roundness around his own waist, he’ll want you to be chiseled like an Athenian statue. Shower well afterward, if you plan to get close to finicky Virgo. B.O. is a definite no-no.
Intimate bike rides along lonely woodland trails can be a good way to get to know Virgo…and who knows what will happen when you take a breather at the trailhead? You might wind up breathing heavier than you thought!
For evening excursions, theater is the diversion of choice. Tickets to Rent, if you can possibly get them, are guaranteed to get his normally restrained soft side to surface. Inside of every Virgo is a New Yorker columnist yearning to burst out.
Avoid taking him to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, however, as Virgo is unlikely to be amused by the flying hot dogs and public humiliation of the “virgins” to the show. And you certainly don’t want him to get a crush on Rocky, who is most definitely Virgo’s type.
Dutch treat is the norm with budget-minded Virgo, and you’ll want to stop in at an inexpensive but classy diner rather than an elegant four-star gourmet restaurant. Odds are he’ll find fault with the cuisine and décor wherever you go, so may as well keep him content with a smaller check.