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Free Daily Horoscopes, April 1st



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Aries Horoscope

Don't rush into anything today. In business, knowing the details will make all the difference. It'll be the same in romance, as you'll want to know more about a guy before saying 'yes' to his first date marriage proposal. Doing research today will save you from future shock.


Taurus Horoscope

You're a beautiful person, and you're into beautiful things. That's why you surround yourself with them, be it possessions or men. Revel in such high aesthetics today, and indulge in both. Start by exchanging phone numbers with the cute waiter at the posh four-star restaurant you frequent.


Gemini Horoscope

Head the busybodies off by making up rumors about yourself, and spreading them around. Make them outrageous and shocking, ten times worse than anything they could come up with. Nobody will believe the talk anyway, and you'll walk away with your reputation unscathed.


Cancer Horoscope

You lied when you told him you were a good cook, and now he wants proof. You're pretty sure he's not into Minute Rice and tuna helper for dinner, so you better get creative with take-out. Place a to-go order with a nice restaurant and spend a little money: He'll know a Big Mac when he sees one.


Leo Horoscope

Your finances are thinner than the Olsen twins, and it may be time to put yourself on a budget. It'll be hard living the Park Avenue lifestyle you're used to on a Hooterville budget, but you'll learn the value of saving, and how to hide from bill collectors.


Virgo Horoscope

Today's a good one to kick things off, whether it's new projects or a hot new romance. Don't think too much about any of them. Instincts and gut feeling will produce better results than deep analysis today, especially in romance.


Libra Horoscope

Forgive all past slights today, and let go of your grudges. It's good karma, as grudges are childish and silly. Still, the actions of some people are so egregious they should never be forgiven. It's okay to occasionally stick needles in dolls that look like them, if only for old time's sake.


Scorpio Horoscope

Tell a friend some of your secrets today. But make some of them up, and see how many make it into the general public. Then make up some secrets about him, and spread them through the general public.


Sagittarius Horoscope

You hate yoga -- it seems so pretentious. And you hate people who practice yoga -- they're always so damn Zen and serene. If you had your way, you'd throw a little aggression into the mix by making them play Black Sabbath at every yoga session. Now that would be Zen!


Capricorn Horoscope

You want to meet a new guy, and you're busy doing your research. You're checking off a lot on the positive checklist, and those jeans aren't filled with chopped liver. But all your research will be for naught once you make your move. Then you'll have to go on animal instinct if you're to make the catch.


Aquarius Horoscope

Business deals could be tricky today, as will the people you're dealing with. Be careful of who you trust, because they may not have your best interests in mind. Have all the details worked out before you start. Maybe you can catch them at their own game.


Pisces Horoscope

You're beginning to see how things really work in your relationship, and it's looking like a dictatorship. Slowly his demands became greater than yours, and you're looking like a serf before the feudal lord. Rise up today, and take back your power. Then say goodbye.




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