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Free Daily Horoscopes, January 28th

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Aries Horoscope

You might have a different interpretation of the word perseverance than the guy you keep sending roses and chocolates. To you it's the relentless pursuit of a goal; he calls it stalking. Oh well, you say tomato, he says tomahto.

Taurus Horoscope

You may have met a guy who you relate to on nearly every level. But problems in the bedroom might be the only drawback. You'll try to make it work before saying goodbye, but you're never going to fit a round peg into a square hole.

Gemini Horoscope

You'll need to tell fact from fiction today. A new squeeze told you he's the CEO of his own startup. Yet you're always footing the movie and dinner bills. That startup may be in his mind, and he'll prove to be nothing more than another letdown.

Cancer Horoscope

You may be cooking up a recipe for disaster by inviting recent ex's to a dinner party tonight. Tensions may reach a boiling point and it could be three long courses of anger, tears and hostility. Oh well, at least your creme brulee will be a hit.

Leo Horoscope

You'll live in a Bizarro world today where everything right is wrong and vice versa. You'll slap a guy in the face and he'll be turned on. Another guy will burst into tears when you say his hair looks nice. Today will be anything if not interesting.

Virgo Horoscope

You're in the mood to work your voodoo tonight. Going on the prowl will make you feel sexy and feral. Make your intentions clear by dressing the part and letting your body language do the talking. You can't attract bees without a little honey.

Libra Horoscope

One or two afternoon cocktails may quickly devolve into an evening of promiscuous behavior. Thankfully, you may not remember a thing tomorrow morning, but you'll wonder what happened to your underwear and how you got that tattoo on your bum.

Scorpio Horoscope

Be open to all comers today. Entertaining many suitors will be good for your ego, even the guy with the third eyeball sticking out of his forehead. Quantity will trump quality for you today, mainly because you're not getting any younger, dammit!

Sagittarius Horoscope

Focus on the smaller details of your new man today rather than on the more obvious bigger ones. Can you live with the nervous tic and weird fingernails? Too many peculiarities and you won't care about those other features, no matter how huge they are.

Capricorn Horoscope

With great perseverance and quiet dedication, you've finally snagged the man of your dreams. But you've found that the rewards weren't worth the effort. You may have to throw this one back, although don't expect it to go down without a fight.

Aquarius Horoscope

The stories imparted by our older brothers should be more cautionary than entertaining. Men are making the same mistakes all over again, and those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Save a life today. Educate those on the fringe.

Pisces Horoscope

Using electrical language to impart words of affection don't have the same impact for a Luddite like you. You're sure Shakespeare never used an emoticon heart to express love and the words to that song from 'Casablanca' aren't 'A :-* is just a :-*.'


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